too often I find myself daydreaming about what our lives would have been like if we were still together right now.
Me finally with my shit together and him having it more together than before.
How in just a couple of months of saving we could be starting OUR lives.
I think about how we could be making all those plans we made, our reality.
How this time, we wouldn’t be in Best Buy “just looking” and we’d be in home depot buying wood to make our sliding rack for our kitchen and finding furniture with hidden storage space just because I love the concept of extra storage.
Our husky and my Peter greeting us (and possibly his brother even tho he doesn’t do cats) in our apartment in the city, because he wants the bachelor pad without actually being a bachelor. Not having to go to one house or the other to watch our shows because it will be our dvr. Making bacon because I actually eat bacon I make myself.
Us making an agreement that I will wash clothes if he hangs them up because I hate hanging clothes and he has a specific way of doing it.
Arguing about me knocking over my drink because that’s what we do.
Finally not having to say goodbye every night but just coming home, not even showering, picking at the food in our To go box and rolling into bed talking about the movie we just saw or what we’re doing tomorrow.
And this is what I think about, too much of the time.
The life that he and I were supposed to have.
The only life that I really want.